your very best

I took this exercise class this morning and Marsha, the instructor  was instructing us to do high kicks.  She kept saying "DONT WASTE IT!" I kept wondering what she meant by it.  Dont waste energy if your not going to do it right?  Im not sure,  I think she just meant make each movement count.  

Lately Im seeing how much power I actually have to change the tide.  Even though I still don't know exactly where my path is leading, Im trying to pay attention to the things Im giving energy to.

One of the challenges I was thinking about today is a rather simple one.  Not like running a marathon or jetting off to India, though Id love that.  I was thinking one of my new goals for now and forever is to finish everything you start.  Sounds easy but this is tough for me!

I have a hand full of paintings that I need to finish and I've always wanted to be an author, but so often I get bored, have writers block or get distracted and move on.  Its terrible. There is so much value in sticking to a task.

When I was growing up my summer camp counselor taught us this little poem.  I still remember the words and I know they are true, but I wish the message would stick itself permanently onto my hands and heart.

Stick to your task till it sticks to you
Beginners are many, but enders are few. 
Honor, power, place, and praise 
Will come, in time, to the one who stays. 

Stick to your task till it stick to you
Bend at it, sweat at it, smile at it too
For out of the bend and the sweat and the smile 
Will come life's victories, after awhile. 

(I know this pic is cheezy, Maya kept telling me to look tough)

Theres just something powerful about knowing you accomplished something you set your mind to.  In the story into the wild, Chris says this great line,

  "How important it is in life, not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong"

  Im going to go paint now but I just wanted to confess where sometimes my energy flows. As hypocritical as it may be,  (as Im writing on a blog) I curse my appetite for  technology! ha.  Sometimes instead of calling friends I get my kicks from fools gold on places like Facebook.  On Twilight when Edward fesses up to how the Cullen Vampires eat animal blood instead of humans he compares it to being a vegan eating tofu you dont really feel fulfilled? ha.

  Even though we can feel informed or whatever by going online, it doesnt quite foster or create closeness. Sometimes its the best we can do, but I dont want it to be a substitute.  I want to atleast hear people's voices.   On my way home today I didnt turn on any music for once, and just listened to the rain and it was really beautiful.  Out of fear of missing something, sometimes I think I miss out in just living for simple moments.  I want to make each moment and movement count!

Unfortunatately I was so focused on the rain, how it was hitting my car but not touching me, how the wipers were working...etc,  I wasnt  paying attention  to what was happening behind the wheel with my driving and the cars behind me got a little mad. SORRY to whoever you are!  I hope I dont live my life like that, only thinking about myself, I want to think about how I can affect other people, or how I don't affect them.

If we all do our very best, whatever our passions are, somehow we will all make it.  Sometimes dont you just love something so much you want to eat it? Or atleast squeeze the living daylights out of it?  Thats how I feel about art. I just want to be it.  And I want it to beat inside of me.

Usually when I have a question about something I ask everyone's opinion about it. Gather up all their advice in a burlap sack and then choose my favorite truths.  Lately my burning question is 'what should I do with my life?' Its difficult as the map of life has been written for me for so long, but now the pens in my hands, to choose where to go? who to be? Freedom can feel like prison if we let fear dictate us.

 I figure people should just do whatever it is that makes them want to just burst through the atmosphere they love it so much. 

I love Gordon B Hinckley and his message in this video, I always watch it when I need a good lift. (My favorite part starts at 3:40)

"You don’t have to be a genious you don’t have to be a straight a student, you just have to do your very best, with all the capability that you have, you have to do your very best. And somehow if you do that, god will open the way before you and the sun will shine and your lives will be fruitful and you will accomplish great good in the world in which you take part"

Im so thankful for my life and that there is an all knowing pilot guiding me.  Even though this next chapter of my life is still being drafted,  I have no doubt it will be beautiful.


Brooke Self said...

So true, Marn. I love this post. I think you have to do what is best and right for you. I love the "save your energy" analogy. Again, I have picked up on that so much here in New York.. like if someone is in your way you just say excuse me really loud. And if you want to run down the escalator instead of standing and waiting you can do that too. (not in a rude way) but in a saving-my-energy, this-is-what-I-want/need-right now type think..It's refreshing I think. I know you have great things ahead. I cannot wait until we see one of those paintings in the Moma or the Met. You are awesome and I know you only have great things ahead. Save your energy for those things that are only worth your time!

I should take my own advice but I believe it! take care and call me sometime!! :)

pps. I am a huge fan of technology and social networking and I could never see the world again without them. They are just so cool and needed I think! I feel we are more connected because of them, even if we do not talk to the people. we know more about them and therefore can engage them in what is currently going on in their lives at any time. Seems like a more relevant relationship.. but perhaps not. I see your side as well! Just thought I would add that thought. :)

Jules said...

Marni - thanks for posting that video, I really love it! I don't know if you know, but I've been following your blog for quite some time now, quite the blog-stalker, aren't I?? I just love your posts, though, they always inspire me :). And it's so good to know you are doing well, and using up every bit of your artistic, amazing, loving energy! Still love you lots,

Marni said...

brookie boo- your true. technology is good, I just miss giving everyone hugs!

julie lou I LOVE YOU and miss you!