do you miss the ocean? do you miss the sand?

Whys it every time you HAVE to sleep you cant?

Why when someone utters, the words, 'you cant, it will never work', nothing else seems important but making that very thing happen?

Curiosity, rebellion?

Laying in bed I keep thinking about the ocean.  How no matter what it keeps going.

I keep thinking about  being 18, my sweet roommate sisters asleep next to me.  We seemed untouchable, like we were apart of the earth, and would stay that way forever.

 I'm telling this story like it was 97 years ago but it might as well have been, I miss it that much.  I always had the bed next to the sliding glass door. When I couldn't sleep I would press my whole body against the the glass and get as close to the ocean as possible and then just listen.

Some nights the waves would roll in gentle like a comb through silky hair, but sometimes it sounded more like little bites were being taken out of the rocks below. Either way Id eventually fall asleep.

 I would wonder about little things like what all the crying birds were crying about, or if they were even sad at all. Maybe to them, humans sound like were crying when we talk too.

Now I'm listening to virtual waves online, but it sounds like a shopping cart rolling down a Walmart isle occasionally crashing into the toilet paper display.

Grateful to be here but I miss the real ocean!

Here are some things that cost nothing but make me smile


whistling
my sisters
old friends
mittens
singing in the shower loud
good books
feeding my dogs human food like linguine
my grandparents
writing postcards
adventure
the movie up
giving goodnight hugs and kisses

Goodnight beautiful world. goodnight beautiful ocean. I will return to you!