I went to the post office today. I was standing in line and I wanted to hug every single person just for being so thoughtful. Most lines we stand in are for ourselves. And all these strangers were weighing packages, addressing big envelopes, for more strangers somewhere far away.
Words are words weather there on a page or on a screen, but theres something special about holding something in your hands that was sealed and sent to you.
Energy has become really real to me lately. I'm trying to stay conscious of the energy I'm giving out, the positive and negative. Even if its a negative thought, its still taking up space in my brain so it counts.
If you only had a limited amount of thoughts you could think what would you think about?
If there was a cap on the words you could say in your life, what would you say? Who would you say them to?
What if there was a limit of how many places you could go or a limit to how many faces you could make
or a limit to the things we could touch?
What if there was a limit to how many people you could talk to, who are those people you would give your energy to?
What if there was a limited amount of minutes that we are alive what would you do with your time?
Life feels unlimited. But is it? It seems like life only becomes unlimited, fully ours, the moment we realize it is limited. hopefully this isn't too over the top.
When things are unlimited we seem to not cherish them as much. Like refills. We dont really care if our drink spills, its replacable. But if you only have one chance at something, you try to open all your sense because it will never happen again.
I was thinking about this today and I thought about my wise friend Dilan. He was in my peace building classes but ironically was always arguing with everyone, especially our teacher. I loved him for it. He questioned everything. He was from Vietnam and was majoring in philosophy and religion. I sat next to him at a social dance once and I asked him, the expert of religion, "why out of all the religions did you decide to join the lds church?"
He told me it was because he used to be very scared of death, and in the church we believe there really is no such thing. I admitted to him that even with the knowledge of the gospel death still scares me a little. Then he stared at me rather piercingly and said,
"WHY? From death springs life, and from life springs death"
I understood how death comes from life but I didn't understand how life could possibly spring from death. Then the wise Buddha Dilan posed this scenario,
"If you had to meet someone very important. And you were very nervous, but than I told you, you would die in 5 minutes, would you still be afraid?"
"No" I said. "What would you do than?" Asked Dilan
"I guess I would try to live my last 5 minutes the best and happiest I could, because it doesnt matter"
And Dilan said again, "From Death Springs Life"
I have to remind myself not stress about things little things. Try to imagine your slate of life and everything you think about is etched in. Its a good reminder to me to spend my time and energy doing the things that bring me happiness.
If something is bringing you down. Don't do that thing anymore! Let every day be a new page ready to be filled with beautiful things. And dont judge yourself, nothing is ever a failure, its just not finished yet.
As my family history teacher said at the end of our time together, "Live a life worth writing about".