And taking 1 bite out of every assorted chocolate in those heart shaped boxes is the way I want to live

I love my friend Gabby. She has short hair and looks like the last avatar air bender.

More importantly, she reminded me of something I have forgotten lately.

She is such an advocate of things. Shes always raising her hand in class and stating her opinion. I most often keep my opinion to myself unless it weasels its way out. Because its a little precious to me. Sometimes I don't state my opinion because it gets lost. I mean I think I have one and then I listen to everyone's point of view and I can see truth in it all. My brain gets swirled around and becomes like slush. Maybe this is why I'm easily talked into things.

But I love passion. We are dead without it. I wanted to make a theme for myself for this month so I did: Live with Passion

I decided to dye my hair ravens wing black this morning at 8 clock. Ive never dyed my hair in the AM. But I loved the experience. I loved reading on my lawn, eating watermelon, with my new black hair, listening to the chickens. I felt like a new person. It was a wonderful feeling. I read about the bias reporting of the Israeli and Palestinian conflict, how every time Israel does something its called "Retaliation" and every time Palestine does something its called an "attack".

Yesterday I watched a movie by myself on the upstairs floor of the library. I felt really myself for some reason. Which reminded me, sometimes it takes doing little unique things to unzip us from our uniforms of normalcy and be free to be ourselves.

Something happened today in History class. A group was presenting on same gender marriage. They brought tons of food and showed clips of angry protesters in California. And I felt myself almost walk out because even though were a Mormon school, I felt that the audience was smirking or something the whole time. A man in the front row of my class really frustrated me. The presenters showed a map of those in California who do not support prop 8, and then he commented, "that's the side that's going to fall off into the ocean".

I'm not writing this to be negative but I automatically felt myself shoot lazer beams at him. I didnt like that feeling. But I found it unavoidable. I couldn't look at him without it, so I tried not to look at him.

Now I write this mainly because I think that its important to raise our hand sometimes. My media teacher says, "behind every journalist is an activist. More than ever I feel like maybe I'm here so that I can help someone, in some way, to be an advocate for them. I feel a passion for protecting people. Even that man I felt mad at, he too is learning. But I just felt today after he said that comment, I knew that all the education in the world will not help anyone, and cant save anyone, if we don't approach situations with love and understanding.

I want to push my brain till its huge, but never so huge I get a big head about it, just enough so I can be big enough to hold everyone's hearts in my hands, and really know them.

Anyways the day has been really good, full of facts, I learned a lot, but the one thing that was missing from it was real love. Which is what Gabby reminded me of. She invited me over for a vegetarian dinner after class and then I felt like that's what I know for sure. My mind can be swirled around all day, but I feel a great relief as I think my true love ad passions is love. I guess its one of the only things Im sure of.

I guess its hard to know what you think sometimes until someone challenges it.

Other things I know for sure

God lives in every 1
I want a banjo
I want to ride my bike and have one of those wicker baskets to put flowers and little animals in
I want to see Adele in concert
And taking 1 bite out of every assorted chocolate in those heart shaped boxes is the way I want to live

love everyone, PS does my hair look like a wig?


Nick n Jess said...

Oh Marni! You are so Beautiful - I love your gorgeous black hair :)
Your blog is very inspirational - but that's no surprise, you are an inspirational person.
Love ya!

Amy Hanson said...

marni, your hair looks gorgeous.
& i love your thoughts. they are always beautiful.