No sadness, No Joy!
I often am saddened by all the awful things in the world. So much so that I feel such great anxiety sometimes to go on living. I cant describe it any other way then perhaps a "homesickness for heaven" as Momi says. A place perhaps where people don't have to hurt like they do here.
At work recently I jumped at the opportunity to report on a Fundraiser for the 7.9 earthquake in Chengdu, China. It turned out to be the hardest interview I have ever done. Fundraisers in times past always seem to have an element of fun involved, after all its even spelled FUNdraiser. But this was different, I dont know why I didnt anticipate it, but it was nothing like the usual- interviews about the new head chef or dance preview, it was real news, with real people suffering true loss and pain.
This sweet man John who I interviewed has family near Chengdu and though thankfully they are alive, they are sleeping outside in a tent. I first came across him at the fundraiser with red puffy eyes as he stood infront of a TV translating news clips of the aftermath. My eyes matched his after just a few minutes of watching little kids trapped in buildings calling out for help and people living in the streets under umbrellas.
I was really frustrated after this interview as I lost my reporters pad and had to write my story from memory. But this ended up to be a blessing as I really had to spend time thinking about what I had learned, these people deserve no less.
I had so many awesome details though and quotes but what was most powerful-the emotion I felt luckily wasn't something easily lost. For some reason out of the whole interview, this statement about the borrowed TV from the library touched me the most out of everything. John, when he had a million other things to be concerned about took the time to thank the library's media services. John is a truly humble man, he said with such gratitude, "the library doesn't usually let clubs rent TVs, but when we asked if we could borrow the TV for our fundraiser, they said "Go ahead!" I was touched that he was so touched. It made me feel that the simple things we do, can and do make a difference. And there is so many people who need extra love.
I was asking my friend Stephanie yesterday about why do bad things have to happen to such good people and I am so thankful for her for reminding me so often of lifes truths. She is so wise and she said as I often forget, "if we knew no sadness we could know no joy", and then ofcourse if everything was easy we wouldnt ever learn.
Though I do want to be a reporter and spread awareness in the world, since this fundraiser I dont know if I am strong enough. I feel so small sometimes but I am shown daily that the power of one is great. I am so lucky to learn from giants in my life like John and Stephanie. Hellen Keller said, "I am one but I am still one, I cannot do everything but I can do something". Thank you everyone for the many somethings that you have done to bless my life!