Its still a blur how this all happened......
Graduation seemed like one of those destinations where you get in your car, drive, and think about something, anything but where your going, and then roll to a stop and "click-click", robotically shift into park, and snap awake and wonder, "how in the world did I get here?! I wasn't paying attention. Oh well, looks like I made it alive.'

My life is SO good. If it was a color it might be rainbow or even gold. The friends I have made and my sweet, supportive family have painted it this way. I may not know the future, but I feel like the richest person in the world already because of the lessons Ive learned and the people I've loved.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
Anais Nin

Leaving Hawaii is NEVER easy. I moved there when I was 18, almost five years ago and over the years its become more and more magical. If you live there long enough the island starts to grow inside of you, whispering to you its secrets and making you feel so ALIVE. Literally it takes a hold of you and wont let you go, and you cant let it go either. Even when I go home for Christmas break I act as if my life is ending.

I cry saying goodbye to friends who Ill see again, I cry in the car all the way to the Honolulu airport, mourning every car that passes (iron and wine ;), I blink back tears on the plane and hold strangers hands, I sometimes even cry sitting on my bedroom floor at the sight of unpacking. ha.

But President Monson assures us that "change is the only thing we can rely on". Gracefully making changes is still a skill I'm trying to hone. It used to be especially difficult for me to say goodbye to the magical friends I'd make in Hawaii. But Ive learned over the years (as if im 80!) that everything we love becomes apart of us,

I guess naturally, saying goodbye can be as comfortable as loosing a limb. Am i dramatic or??

As hard as it is to rip off a limb and let go of the familiar. They say that its the things in life that we DONT do that will be the most painful regrets. So Im trying hard to listen my heart and seek for adventure. I read recently that when we do new things it stimulates our brains and this actually makes us happier. So try to fill up on new experiences!

My first day back in Washington I went into this little vintage shop, the store owner seemed semi relatable she was wearing some leaped print hat and she decorated her store pretty cool. So I just asked her for some advice on life. I asked if she was an "artist by trade" and she told me "no", but it had always been her passion. She had to be creative growing up because she didn't have alot of money. Her parting words to me were these:

"Pay attention to the things that make you excited"

A few things that make me excited

human rights
public speaking
new solutions to old problems
natural health
hidden beauty
strangers/new friends
shaking hands
making things beautiful
old things
unique people
old people
when I feel the seed in my heart grow with love for a new friend
the power that lies in everyones hands
the gospel

I know this: momentum. create it. even if you get stuck. keep trying.


Clark said...

Marni! I loved this post. Living in Hawaii and leaving wasn't easy at all but your outlook is more than optimistic. Thanks for being so open with your words. It was great to hear your voice and talk to you for even just a few minutes the other day. You're one in trillion billion million.

Brooke Self said...

You are beautiful! Your passion for life is contagious and you have helped instill it in me. I love the 'every friend is a world opening up to you' Boy, do I believe it. Also, the idea that keeping our brains stimulating keeps us happy. Why is that so true! Keep writing because you are awesome and deep! If only we knew what we would become before we do it. We would know where to go! I really hope you move to New York! What a wonderful city it is. :) Love you Marni Lou.

matt said...


Kylie said...

yay we graduated! congrats! you are stunning