stuff young people can do

7.25.11

are you happy? are you growing?

those words have been pentrating my mind all day. 

I love them and I trust them.  

They go hand in hand really--- happiness and growing.  Naturally when we are growing we are happy and when we are happy we are usually growing. 

Hmm.  I have to answer that the brand of happiness that I have right now is one that I feel like is not counterfit but its bot like bursting with joy sometimes i feel overflowing with happiness, but I want o feel like Im thriving rather than surviving.  I learned this long ago that when we are only living for ourselves, we may was well be dead :p.  

I love the idea of being a musician.  Of writing on hearts with words and strings.  Or stringing hearts together with words. 

I feel that since I am young I have got to do all the stuff that young people can do. 

i sort of wish my name was clementine.  i really like my name just feelin sorta blue or something.  no im really happy but just scatterbrained. I keep peering over my shoulder for answers. 

I love when I hear my parents laughing downstairs nothing makes my heart happier.  

ive been on the computer way more than usuall and im nervous im gonna get a crooked spine like all those years of having a straight up and down spine are in vain.

bday pty

4.1.11

"the unknown"

8.17.11

the unknown can be scary.

why?

Because its unknown.

 First think about all the things that are extremely known to you, the bridge of your dog's nose feels, your moms voice, the smell of a breakfast, grains of sand under your toes.

Hopefully these are things that don't scare you.

It seems like were only afraid of what we don't know, things we don't have control over. I was reading about fear this week. It can be so crippling. So I was trying to see all its angles, in an attempt to squish it by bringing it into the light. And when I shined a light in the face of fear, I found the same thing that's found in dark closets of scared children, nothing.

how can nothing feel so big and heavy? Fear is like the dark. It rests on us when we choose to not turn on the lights.

I loved how this author described it: "Fear is the MISUSE of the imagination"

Also I was reading about change. The author believed there is no pain in change, only pain in RESISTANCE to change. So basically if we live our lives like bamboo, flexible, life is simple, its when we try to be like unbendable oak trees not that easy.

Maybe your afraid of starfish.
Think about a star fish. Think about holding whatever you fear in your hands. This is just my own theory maybe it wont work but try it. Imagine holding a tiny elevator in your hands. You feel in control of it. Why because you are bigger than it. You can move it up and down like a Lego, and press the tiny buttons with a toothpick. Really this is what gods life is like. If we trust that someone IS in control, someone who loves us, than what is really to fear?

Here are the things I'm most afraid of

Elevators
dying before I'm ready/ have reach my potential
not being true
failing my family and friends
heights
being alone
skydiving



fear is totally normal. And if ever you start to let yourself drift too far into the ocean of fear, call yourself back with familiar images. SOLID things you know for sure like. your family. your friends. the sun. the beauties of the earth. your best friend. your favorite food. god and that he loves you no matter what. take refuge in the things that you know and there still might be a little fear, but a manageable amount.

I SEE YOU

8.20.11

I love the line  I SEE YOU in Avatar.  It is so incredibly powerful


Oprah final show she said this, that all people want is this.  For someone to say to them, "I see you. I hear you.  And what you say matters to me"   

I saw the movie the help it was so amazing. I loved ALL the characters in it.  

anyway that movie tonight I cant stop thinking about it.  Skeeter she WROTE thats all she did.  the people had these AMAZING stories and all she did was write about them.  I want to do that too. tell a story. about the human experience.  but where do i start

.  I want to write. write about something that bothers you like the editor says. mrs stein in the help.  

what bothers me??

FEAR

your own bliss

10.11.11

 Lately Ive learned that things will not always be the same.  I see fine lines creeping up on the coners of my eyes, reminding me that time which is so very precious, is passing.

 Feel good


about who you are and where your going.  Become what it is you want to become. 

This summer I tried on a vest that I thought was awesome.  I asked the lady at the goodwill what her opnion was, she raised an eyebrow, and told me I looked like I was wearing a shag rug, but then added "to each his own" before getting back to work.

love that!

Be your own version of happiness.

its not over

10.11.11

In the late 1970s, a team of psychologists led by Philip Brickman came to a startling conclusion about humans and happiness: In comparing the happiness levels of a group of lottery winners and a group of paraplegics to that of the general population, the psychologists discovered that both life-altering events made no significant differences on the groups' well-being after one year. The researchers attributed this phenomenon to the adaptive functioning of the human spirit.

Given time, people will acclimate to circumstances, whether fantastically positive or negative.

The sound of rain is beautiful.

too many rainy days can leave you soggy and sad.

In rainy Seattle I loaded up one branch of my life way heavier then the rest, and literally felt like tipping over.  I was working 12 hour days and then my Grandma suddenly went to the E.R and then I had a miniature wake up call.  Time which is so very precious is passing!  I dont want to waste another minute being sad.

 Sometimes life feels like a long hard battle.  

And other times it feels the electric slide.

 I love this talk on Finding Joy. Im always trying to look for these huge pieces of gold everyday in my life, when really most of the time joy is derived from precious flecks.  

The other day on my way home from work there was a torrential down poor. I saw this teenage boy walking caught in it.  I wanted to give him a lift but I hesitated. "Pick him up!"  This sn't Hawaii! "but its pouring!"  "kids should never get in the car with strangers!"

Finally I rolled down the window and yelled out to him if he needed a ride.  Fortunatley he was almost home.  I missed Hawaii!   Where this sort of thing is normal.

But then I found myself in the neighborhood of my old piano teacher, who I haven't seen for 15 years. Perhaps I could pay her a visit.  By now she was surly in her 80ies.  So I pulled into her driveway, and knocked on her door envisioning a joyful reunion.  But that didn't work out either, the door never opened. So I buckled back in and started driving home for the third and final time.

And then something so special happened.  Just there huddled under a pine tree that offered the shelter of a Kleenex, was a sweet old looking couple.  I could tell they were not from Seattle because they were waiting for the rain to stop, which would probably not be for a week or two.  I rolled down the window and they gladly were in my car a few seconds later.  It didn't take me very long to figure out they were visiting from Hawaii.  They were talking pigeon and being so sweet to me.  My heart felt SO good and so happy that I could chat with them.  It reminded me of all the reasons I love Hawaii and I felt like someone understood me for just a few minutes.

I don't like the grey drippy skies, but sometimes when you cant see the good,  you close your eyes, and listen.

Babies keep getting borned

9.28.11 

Today I'm twenty-three years , eight months, two weeks and six days young.

I don't know why our world including me is obsessed with AGE.


At work this morning my only friends at my desk were a calculator and postits so I figured this out.

Ive lived 8,655 days.   Seems like a lot. But If I live to be 100 which isn't uncommon in my family, I will live 36,500 days.  Which means I've only lived 23%.

Which means, I've still got 77% left to live.  Which means I've got 27,846 days left.

So why then do I feel my youth tip toeing quietly out the back?

Stop! I yell and scream but people are scooting me down this bench and babies keep being born.
I know I wasn't born to stay this way forever, we were born to experience beauty in every season.  There are so many good moments to come.

Plead with you to never shrivel and dry up.  Stay juicy stay exuberant, life is full of opportunity.


I read this the other day and loved it.

"Everything in your life right now, was once only a dream"